wanted vs. unwanted.

this month has been a real crazy one.  probably more than usual.  not only did i get my credit cards stolen, but this week, i was the recipient of some very unwanted - *ahem* - 'attention' from a person who is a work acquaintance.

i very much know the difference between wanted and unwanted.  i so wanted to have my mini.  i so didn't want to owe money for taxes.  i wanted the creamy white leather purse that i got the day B and i went to winners.  i didn't want to have to deal with a flooded basement at our old house.  i always seem to want sushi - definitely NOT the issue with watermelon and canteloupe.

so when this dude made his overtures (i am not going to go into it, but i will say that the words "lecherous", "predatory", "gross", "disgusting" and "vomit-inducing" apply more than appropriately.) every inner alarm in my body went off.  this person was someone i have had a working relationship with, and for him to cross that personal boundary was unbelievably shocking.  and not even flattering.  and through that shock, every self-defense move i have ever learned went out the proverbial window and all i could think about was getting myself out of the situation and safely back into my car.

it's strange the things that go through your mind.  and yes, i am going to admit that some of the thoughts were a little screwed up.  one, i was worried about saving the working relationship (it impacts way more than me), two, i was in a little bit of denial that it was happening, and three, what the f*ck do i do now?????  and i admit that i felt into the stereotypical mindset that i had done something to bring this on myself.  did i say something?  did i wear something?  do i do as he asked and not tell anyone?  did i inadvertently tell this guy something to make him think that i wanted to take our "professional" relationship to the next level.  and the answer is no. 

i did all the things i needed to do in regards to reporting.  and my boss and her bosses were great.  the husband has been lovely and understanding (no, i don't need you to go and tattoo "b*tch" on his face, but thank you for the offer) and the few close friends (and thank you, mom!) i told have been incredibly supportive and wonderful. i do admit that the day of and the day after, i was pretty much useless at home, at work, and at the torch.  (crying when working over an open gas flame is probably a health & safety violation, right L?) but it's getting better now.  i'm moving into being really angry now.  the guy SET ME UP.  and i'm not going to let this go unnoticed.

now i am left with this feeling of being violated, and i can ensure you that i will never work with this person again.  my sister brought up a good point - and said - what would you tell the mini to do if this had happened to her?  and other than kicking the guy where the sun don't shine, i would have told her to do the exact same thing that i did - ensure that you get out safely and in one piece.

life lessons, right?  and hopefully, after everything is said and done, this guy will have learned his too.

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back to work.

and not in the good artsy jewelry making sort of way.  it was back to the office for me this morning - and it was a gray, rainy morning, mirroring the way i felt.  sigh.  and of course, inspiration hits at inopportune moments, but i'm hoping to have some time to work on some new ring designs.

i did have some time to try to make a copper version of the tiny bud earrings, but quickly found out that copper has different melting properties than sterling.  much different.  i think i went through a whole tank of butane and now i have a whole bunch of twisted, charred wire fragments littering my workspace.  but i'm determined to get it right... so stay tuned. 

in the meantime... i'm totally loving the freelance whales.  what a nice surprise.  a little bit of ride, a little bit of swervedriver, a little bit of chapterhouse with a sprinkling of belle & sebastian.  because, of course, we can always just be friends.  yummy.

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blackberry. love. and hate.

i love my blackberry curve. i don't know what i ever did without it. i panic when i misplace it (and unfortunately put it on silent.) i love that it's a one stop shop for all my social networking/emails. i love it when the notification goes off for BBM and text messages. i love the way it sits on my desk and in my cup holder in the car.

however, today i hate it. i have my work email hooked up to it and i am so sorry that i checked it when it went off - nothing like angry clients ranting and raving on sundays! sometimes work anger should wait till monday. or i should turn the notification off on weekends. or i should gain the self-control NOT to check. sigh.

sometimes i miss the days when "blackberry" only meant you were talking about the fruit.

(thank you to the lovely bigbeanphotos for being so awesomely talented - that's their photo above!)

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thoughts on the mommy track

i always thought that i'd be one of those mothers who would be chomping at the bit to return to their job outside the home. i even told my boss that i'd probably be back early. well, i've surprised everyone - most of all, myself - at how i love being at home with the mini. even though being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest "jobs" i've ever had - and believe me, i've had LOTS - it definitely is the most rewarding. they should PAY moms to stay home and raise their babies!

the husband and i have been through a lot to get to where we are now - about 20 different apartments, career changes, a move cross-country and back, several vehicles, medical conditions, a separation, buying a house, and more credit card debt than i would have liked. however, it is all worth it when i look around at our crooked little house, full of things collected on our journey (and tons of baby stuff!) and the sweet little face of my mini!!!

my boss emailed me yesterday and asked when i'm thinking about returning to work. it made me really sad to give her a date - it's not that i haven't been thinking about it (and sometimes really missing my job!), but i really wished that i could have told her that i wouldn't be coming back at all.

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Overwhelmed and Underpaid!!!!! (But Look at the Front Page!)

Do you ever have those days where you just feel like your "To Do" list just keeps getting longer... and more convoluted... and more confusing? And then you throw allergies and a headache on top of it all? :) Well, today was one of those days - we're in the process of buying a car and at work i've been part of a planning committee for a huge team event tomorrow. It felt like i crammed 100 phone calls, a meeting, tons of photocopying and the baking of 100 chocolate chip cookies into an hour!!!!! and then to top it all off, a client decides to go ballistic on me.

needless to say, i was soo happy to leave the office finally!

there was a pretty bright spot in this hectic day though - one of my items was on the front page in twobeans' awesome beach-themed treasury on etsy! (http://twobeans.etsy.com/) the muffin top shop got plenty of traffic today! thanks, twobeans!

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