unbelievably anxious.

i know i am not the first mother who tears up at the thought of leaving her little one to go back to work. and i count myself very lucky to have a job to go back to, especially in this economy, don't get me wrong. but as i head into the home stretch of my maternity leave (april 27th is D-Day, sob) i find myself sinking a little into sadness.

yesterday, we had an incredibly difficult day. we were all ready to head up to my sister's for our nephew's birthday party and then we hit some speedbumps. first, the mini's afternoon nap went wayyyyyyy too long. because of her bout with roseola, i was reluctant to wake her up - she needs her sleep to continue to recover! and that made us an hour behind schedule. then, as we were getting ready, the husband spilled coke all over his shirt and the chair - putting him into a crabby mood. then, after i had loaded the mini into her carseat, she puked into the seat, all over her bundle me blanket, and her coat. then, as i went to get her new clothes, the door of her closet fell off. yes, FELL OFF.

needless to say, i had to call my sister to cancel. i just couldn't take it. there were too many things going on, and too much vomit everywhere. i just couldn't THINK about going out at that point. i know that i probably should have pushed through and just cleaned everyone up and headed out, but all i wanted to do was sit on the floor and cry. because then it just made me think about having to go back to work and having days like this and not having the luxury to just stay home.

yes, i'm whiny. and as i write this, i'm teary. i honestly did think that i would be the type of mom who would be dying to go back to work... but, to everyone's surprise, i am NOT. while the mini is going to be in wonderful hands while i'm working - hello, grandma! - i know i am going to be a mess.

if anyone has any tips or advice, please please please share!!!!!