happy belated 2010!

i can't believe it's 2010. so much has happened this year and now it's a new one. i have to admit that it's been hard to blog since big trev passed away... the permanence of his death has really hit our family hard.

the day to day stuff still happens - we get up, the mini plays, i always kiss the husband when he leaves for work - but the sadness comes when i realize that big trev isn't going to call or text or come over. i text his wife sometimes just to keep in touch and make sure she's doing okay - i can't imagine how she feels. i can't imagine how the husband feels - he talked to trev every day for the past 8 years and now he's gone.

it seems trivial now to talk about things like the weather, the news, shopping and celebrity gossip. it all seems so trite and so MEANINGLESS now that someone is gone - absolutely GONE - from our plain of existence. i sometimes get angry when my friends text about the things that their husbands did that made them mad - because i can't help but think WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF HE WAS GONE?

i know life goes on. when the husband and i talk about big trev, we can now laugh. we've been able to share memories with big trev's wife and laugh at his antics and wonderful sense of humour. i've been continuing with my own personal goals of improving my etsy shops (in the hopes that i will be able to stay home - at least part time - to take care of my family) and raising the mini to the best of my ability. but every day is now coloured with a sense of thankfulness and significance. i am thankful that i have my husband and the mini and that we are all healthy and happy. i am thankful that i have a loving family, a job, a warm house. i am thankful that every day i can kiss my husband and tell him that i love him. i am also thankful that we knew big trev and could call him a part of our lives. because he still is.