little buds (of creativity).

this weekend, i grabbed some time to put some orders together - and realized i hadn't fired up my torch in a week.  A WEEK!  i don't think that that has happened in a very long time, but recently it has felt that things have been moving a mile a minute (i.e. renovations, entering an apartment after evicting someone and being attacked by fleas, working about 10 hours overtime, and being robbed) and there has been no time to stop and melt anything.  it actually made me a little bit sad because i know that taking a few minutes to make something - or even sketch or research a new design or technique - really helps me center myself.

after everything was resting nicely in the acid bath, i cut some 18 gauge wire and got to making it molten for my new stacking ring design.  based on my open bud hoop earrings (i'm still wearing mine!) these rings are a perfect match!  each of them have a lovely organic feel to them, with a unique texture and look to each of them.  i am a huge fan of artistic randomness, or happy artsy accidents, and because i really don't have much control over the whole melting process, i love how it all turned out.  they are delicate and earthy and modern all at the same time - and also perfect worn individually, or in a huge stack with plain skinny bands.  i think i'm in love!  (again.)

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already another crazy week... and music as crack

so i think i'm cursed.  lol.  i go into work yesterday and while i'm compiling rental ledgers to take to court, i get an automated phone call from one of my credit card companies reporting suspicious activity on my account.  well, the suspicious activity is that i apparently started purchasing cigarettes and phone cards at 5am that same morning (when in reality i was at home getting ready for work.)  long story short, it turns out that someone had rifled through my purse WHILE IT WAS TUCKED UNDER MY DESK IN A BOX FULL OF PAPERS.   thanks, co-workers, for your diligent monitoring of the human traffic coming into our office.  sigh.  L and J were wonderfully outraged for me while i was dealing with the shock and writing up the incident report.  (did you know that in some jurisdictions, you can file on ONLINE police report as long as it's theft under $10K and you don't have a suspect?  seriously, wow.)  anyway, the perpetrator was arrested - thanks to a little amateur sleuthing on my part after court and the help of the police - hello, cute cops!  but i still had to deal with the annoyance of cancelling everything and agreeing to sign affidavits stating that i did not buy those smokes.  (yes, i know, i have the urge to smoke once in a while but definitely not $300 worth.)  but as M so succinctly reminded me later in the afternoon, there are definitely worse things in life and you can only laugh at the stupid things people do.

later on, enjoying a quiet evening of definitely-nothing-more-exciting-than-an-ice-cream-cone-with-the-family, the mini was captivated by this selena gomez song.  and so was i - obviously the songwriters nowadays have culled every fantastic song in the world, plugged it into some computer, which then spit out the perfect formula for a pop song.  i hate the fact that i like this song - but i so love it at the same time.  music as crack.  and now me and my kid are addicted. yay.

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passive aggressiveness. followed by a sweet weekend.

friday evening, with the words "passive-aggressive" ringing through my head and after working an extra 1 1/2 hours overtime, i drove home nearly in tears.  i don't think that i could have wanted to win the lottery any more than i did during that drive - but, thankfully, my job is still intact.  then i went home and had a very in-depth, heart-to-heart with the husband, which, while magnificently productive, pushed me into migraine territory.

but fast forward to beautiful, sunshiny saturday afternoon, and we find ourselves with the mini on the shores of lake simcoe.  hopped up on sugary pop and sour cream and onion chips, we go with one of the husband's friends (and his two kids and the dog) in his motorboat and speed across the water.  joy.  bliss.  and that feeling of contentment flows into sunday (despite the fact that the mini now has a penchant for throwing things.  probably she was still a little tired from the boat ride.)

which allows me to finally look up what passive-aggressive means.  so i quote, from wikipock (seriously, the BEST blackberry app - we are now soooo addicted):

Passive–aggressive behavior, a personality trait, is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It is a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.


It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.[1]

i realized, that yes, when i am stressed, i CAN be like this.  except for maybe the procrastination and maybe a little of the deliberate.repeated failure bit - i really do not have enough time in the world to do everything.  (which is probably why i shouldn't be blogging right now.)  and i am absolutely guilty of making snide comments, negative jokes and i am sure that my facial expressions give my feelings away, no matter how quickly i try to mask them.  so i am going to take this feedback and run with it and try to make things better. for myself, not anybody else.  i don't really want to add this term to my resume.  :)

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another horrid week. (and an awesome stalker song)

so this week definitely was one of those weeks that i could have done without. work was almost unbearably stressful and i feel like i cannot ever catch up with the things that i need to do. today i also have a meeting with my boss and i'm a little worried because i feel that i have dropped the ball on several things and i know i will probably get roasted. (unemployment, anyone? severance package, much?) additionally, everything i threw in the tumbler this week didn't polish up like it used to - everything came out covered in a thin, sticky film and i had to repolish each item, not once but three times. i realize that i am extra sensitive to criticism but, as with my little jewelry shop, i pride myself on doing good work.  i guess i can't do a million things at once or be several places at one time.

the thing that got me through this week (besides my girls from work - yay text messaging and bbm - and the mini) was adele's "someone like you". the song itself is beautiful, but the lyrics are almost unbearably sad. she sings about a girl showing up at her ex's place - he has moved on, gotten married, and allegedly, all his dreams have come true without her. she wants him to see her face to know that for her, the relationship isn't over. now, while i am definitely not a fan of stalkers (i certainly think that this kind of borders on that, don't you?) i know what it feels like to be focused on someone who isn't focused on you. and to have leftover unresolved feelings for someone - i haven't felt that in a long time, but i definitely remember the hurt. funnily enough, part of me wishes i had the time and the mental space to stalk someone - but i don't (well, unless i get fired today, in which case, i'll have lots of time). so i'll let adele do it for me.

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