wanted vs. unwanted.

this month has been a real crazy one.  probably more than usual.  not only did i get my credit cards stolen, but this week, i was the recipient of some very unwanted - *ahem* - 'attention' from a person who is a work acquaintance.

i very much know the difference between wanted and unwanted.  i so wanted to have my mini.  i so didn't want to owe money for taxes.  i wanted the creamy white leather purse that i got the day B and i went to winners.  i didn't want to have to deal with a flooded basement at our old house.  i always seem to want sushi - definitely NOT the issue with watermelon and canteloupe.

so when this dude made his overtures (i am not going to go into it, but i will say that the words "lecherous", "predatory", "gross", "disgusting" and "vomit-inducing" apply more than appropriately.) every inner alarm in my body went off.  this person was someone i have had a working relationship with, and for him to cross that personal boundary was unbelievably shocking.  and not even flattering.  and through that shock, every self-defense move i have ever learned went out the proverbial window and all i could think about was getting myself out of the situation and safely back into my car.

it's strange the things that go through your mind.  and yes, i am going to admit that some of the thoughts were a little screwed up.  one, i was worried about saving the working relationship (it impacts way more than me), two, i was in a little bit of denial that it was happening, and three, what the f*ck do i do now?????  and i admit that i felt into the stereotypical mindset that i had done something to bring this on myself.  did i say something?  did i wear something?  do i do as he asked and not tell anyone?  did i inadvertently tell this guy something to make him think that i wanted to take our "professional" relationship to the next level.  and the answer is no. 

i did all the things i needed to do in regards to reporting.  and my boss and her bosses were great.  the husband has been lovely and understanding (no, i don't need you to go and tattoo "b*tch" on his face, but thank you for the offer) and the few close friends (and thank you, mom!) i told have been incredibly supportive and wonderful. i do admit that the day of and the day after, i was pretty much useless at home, at work, and at the torch.  (crying when working over an open gas flame is probably a health & safety violation, right L?) but it's getting better now.  i'm moving into being really angry now.  the guy SET ME UP.  and i'm not going to let this go unnoticed.

now i am left with this feeling of being violated, and i can ensure you that i will never work with this person again.  my sister brought up a good point - and said - what would you tell the mini to do if this had happened to her?  and other than kicking the guy where the sun don't shine, i would have told her to do the exact same thing that i did - ensure that you get out safely and in one piece.

life lessons, right?  and hopefully, after everything is said and done, this guy will have learned his too.